What is Domestic Violence?

-
Domestic Violence

1 in 4 women experience some sort of Domestic Violence in their lifetime. 1 in 7 men experience it. 

Many times, people are in relationships for awhile before it turns violent. Isolation is one of the key components of power and control. When all the components are "working well" for the abuser, the relationship may not have sexual and physical violence. When the abusee steps out and does something that violates one of the components, the relationship may become physically or sexually violent. For example, going to see a friend or taking a course. After physical or sexual violence occurs, the abuser will always come up with excuses as to why it won't happen again.

Violence increases when someone leaves or when pregnancy happens. Once pregnancy happens there is less of a chance for a women to leave


Recognizing the signs

Trust your gut, if something doesn't feel good it probably isn't right.

  • The relationship may start off as rapid fire (I love you, let's move in together, let's have a baby). This person appears to have no flaws
  • Early in the relationship he/she flatters you constantly, and seems "too good to be true"
  • Isolation is a major component of domestic violence
    • Wants you all to him or herself; insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family.
    • Insists you stop participating in hobbies or activities, quit school or quit your job
    • Often in the beginning of relationships, people disappear for awhile, if they don't "come up for air" then this is a red flag. Reach out and make attempts to see this person
  • Excessively jealous and accuses her/him of being unfaithful 
  • Out as a couple, if there is a lot of disagreement, criticizing or put downs
    • says your crazy, stupid, and/or fat/unattractive, or that no one else would ever love you
  • Using the word "allowed"
  • Always checking in, always on their phone
  • Stop taking care of themselves- why are you wearing mascara? That shirt has too much cleavage. It appears to be carrying in the beginning. 
  • Takes no responsibility for his or her behavior and blames others
  • Has a history of abusing others
  • Blames the entire failure of previous relationship on his or her former partner; for example, "my ex was crazy"
  • Takes money or runs up your credit card
  • Rages out of control with her/him but can maintain composure around others 

Things that may be detrimental to say to someone who is in an abusive relationship
  • "You have to leave him"
    • Women are safer in relationships. You also become someone they can no longer talk to.
  • Encourage them to seek help:

For more information on the warning signs:

https://www.timesargus.com/articles/domestic-violence-the-warning-signs/

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Courtney's Candlelight Vigil

-
Image
We are not here to curse the darkness, but to light the candle that can guide us through that darkness to a safe and sane future. -John F. Kennedy Why Candlelight Vigils Candlelight vigils are a ritual that has endured for thousands of years. It is a practice that has been shard among a multitude of cultures and religions. Vigils are often held in response to all kinds of tragedies, as a way to mourn together. Candles are a sign of hope and comfort, and a reminder of the fire a loved one bought into our lives. Vigils are a reminder that we are not alone.  Courtney's Candlelight Vigil August 11th around 7pm the community gathered in the heart of Barre City to remember our incredible friend Courtney Gaboriault, that was taken from us too soon. The vigil was a way to honor Courtney's life and what she gave to every person she came into contact with. Courtney's loss was felt tremendously in our community, and many gathered from near and far. Below, is a video
Read more

Emotional Abuse

-
Image
Introduction One of the lesser known types of abuse is emotional abuse and that is because like financial abuse it isn't as easy to see as the bruises or scars from physical abuse. However, the tell for emotional abuse, as is the tell for all abuse is the use of control. Read on for a definition of along with the signs and signals pertaining to emotional abuse. Definition and Types of Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse is any action that is done in an effort to control the behavior of one's partner.  I scoured many articles, journals, and books for an easy to digest definition of emotional abuse that you, our readers, could share with colleagues, friends, and families. In the end I settled on the definition I found in an article written by verywellmind . The definition stated that emotional abuse occured when there was a consistent pattern of "abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health." O
Read more