Courtney's Allies

For many this is the week of love, a week that is special because of Valentine's Day. It's easy to get wrapped up in chocolates, flowers, and cards and forget that some people don't have healthy love in their life. Enter #chalkaboutlove, a national initiative that promotes healthy teen relationships. The initiative is one that is roughly one week long and starts with a national school announcement about where to go for help if its needed. It also includes wearorange4love day (a day to wear Orange in solidarity), and positive and encouraging notes to remind everyone to talk about love. The initiative ties in nicely with the month of February as a whole which is teen dating violence awareness month. As an ally from afar I do what I can to share Courtney's story and promote education on domestic violence in all its forms. Yesterday I spoke about Courtney and chalked about love with my students. Through teary eyes after watching the beautiful memorial vigil video and worki...

Happy February Allies! Thank you so much for following us and what we do - your continued support is invaluable to us. We want to share some things that may be interesting to you, including some new developments within our organization (some including YOU!). The year 2018 was a pivotal year in each of our lives. Courtney Gaboriault's life was brutally taken in a final act of domestic violence that rocked our small community and sent reverberations through the state of Vermont. To lose such an impactful person who had so much to give did not seem possible. It was a sucker punch, a whirlwind, a media frenzy, and a deeply devastating time for each of us. Through this profound tragedy and loss, friends of Courtney found that the only way to heal was to take action. We formed Courtney's Allies in the days following her death. Our first event was the candlelight vigil we held just seven days after we lost her in Barre City Park. Through Facebook, word of mouth and some media outl...

Introduction and definition Chances are you've never seen the 1938 play Gas Light , but if you have, you would know that the play is about a husband who in an attempt to drive his wife bonkers, dims the lights in their home . When the wife asks him about the lights, he denies he touched or changed the lights making her feel even more out of touch with reality. Since the lights depicted in the play were powered by gas, the term gaslighting was created . Gaslighting is  altering reality in order to cause a person to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity . It is done very deliberately and is extremely effective in perpetuating the cycle of domestic violence. The National Domestic Violence Hotline  mentions the following as gaslighting techniques and describes them as such. withholding- refusing to listen to a partner's questions about what is being said or done countering- questioning a partner's memory about occurrences blocking/diverting- changing the sub...

Introduction One of the lesser known types of abuse is emotional abuse and that is because like financial abuse it isn't as easy to see as the bruises or scars from physical abuse. However, the tell for emotional abuse, as is the tell for all abuse is the use of control. Read on for a definition of along with the signs and signals pertaining to emotional abuse. Definition and Types of Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse is any action that is done in an effort to control the behavior of one's partner.  I scoured many articles, journals, and books for an easy to digest definition of emotional abuse that you, our readers, could share with colleagues, friends, and families. In the end I settled on the definition I found in an article written by verywellmind . The definition stated that emotional abuse occured when there was a consistent pattern of "abusive words and bullying behaviors that wear down a person's self-esteem and undermine their mental health." O...

Introduction By now we hope that our blog posts have given our readers an idea on what domestic violence is and the different forms it can take. We also hope to have conveyed how difficult it can be to leave relationships steeped in domestic violence and because we understand this, the next thing we want to discuss with you all is the a tool that can keep those experiencing domestic violence safe during, while leaving, and after leaving a domestic abuse relationship- the safety plan. What is a Safety Plan? Simply put, a safety plan is a tool tailored to an individual that can help a person stay safe. Safety plans provide safety in a relationship, can help a person prepare to leave an abusive relationship, and can provide support after a relationship has ended. Examples of Safety Plans There are different types of safety plans for different types of situations. There are plans that provide safety to those living with an abusive partner, safety plans for people with children, s...

The Purple Stocking Initiative  Christmas was one of Courtney's favorite times of year, and there's no way we can get through this holiday season without memories of her all around us.  The Purple Stocking Initiative would be a charitable event for the holidays. Anyone who is interested in participating would pick up a stocking from a designated location or from us directly.  You would have until December 20th to fill the stocking with donations and could drop it off with us or the location you received the stocking and they will be delivered to shelters around Vermont.  In response to this, we received many messages of eager people excited to help. With the support from all of you, we received over 70 stockings, boxes of toiletry items and baby items that were delivered across Vermont. The shelters served women and children who have fled abuse and are trying to get back on their feet. The outpour of support was amazing, and we are SO thankful...